BEING A MOM

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This is especially for

• all the moms that I know,
• all of my girlfriends especially Diane and Danica who would someday be moms and
• all, as in ALL, yes whether male, female or otherwise who would like to know what is like to be a mom so that you will come to understand your wife or your mom better.

This message " Being a Mother" came just in time that my two daughters and I are in the point of talking about motherhood. From stretch marks to breastfeeding, caesarean or normal births, career or family, ideal number of daughters and sons , keeping fit or being over weight after pregnancy, etc...etc...

Just like me, my daughters are very fond of children and babies and being a mom really excites them. Yes, both of them ! During their teen years, they would rather choose to spend time with little children and take care of them than go out partying, malling, or spending time with barkadas.

At this point though Danica is more interested to talk about re-entering a college or university, Diane on the other hand is starting to express her excitement and desire to be a mom But I do respond to her jokingly everytime .. "but you have to become a wife first." ( Not maybe soon but in the near future -10 years from now ? according to Dad. .. I know she won't agree but we can still bargain ).

I am now in a different stage of my life and in just a little while I will no longer just be a mom but a grand mom as well... to Don's children then Diane's ..Dan's and Danica's. Every word written in this message also reminded me of the joy and pains of being a mother. I was a young mother at 21; the last time that I gave birth was infact when I was 27.

This made me reminisce ...when Don would like to have a girlfriend, yes...but not at age 13 .Diane's letter to allow her to attend a birthday party at MC Donald's and commute with her friends .. yes but not yet at 5th grade .Though at the end of her letter she said "Please trust me, I can take care of myself," she was still accompanied by her Kuya. Dan at 4 years old, made a mistake of riding in a wrong car at a park. I almost fainted when I saw him being carried away by a man. Losing my cellphone but recovered it back ..you know why? Danica remembered the tricycle that we rode in to and when I asked," how did you know?" She simply reminded me, " Isn't it you told us to remember the body number of a cab and tricycle we rode in to and text/call back to you if we're alone or for security reasons."Oh well, I really have many stories to tell..These are just but a few of the many. many many experiences I had as a mom .

To my dearest Din and Ica ,

This message summarizes and expresses the things that I wanna tell you; the excitement, joy, agony, fears, aprrehensions of being a mom .But I believe despite of all these, you will still choose to share with me the fulfillment of God's calling of being a mom. Seemingly though, God is still teaching you to wait for the right time.

We, "moms" are not replacements for God. We're just His stewards. You should recognize or realize soon as a mom that you cannot do everything for your children. You will just have to entrust them to the loving hands of our Heavenly Father. He loves them more..Besides there would soon come a time that you will have to let go of them. Our prayer life is very essential therefore. And most of all, remember and don't ever forget to introduce them to a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST and abide in His word.

Being a mom is a big task but inspite of this I know .... you wouldn't want to pass through this life without being one. I'm fervently praying for you...
With Jesus in you and with you, I know that you will be the best moms ...EVER for your children and in the sight of God.

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BEING A MOTHER ...THE MESSAGE


We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations....


" But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.


I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.


I look at her carefully manicured nails andstylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.


She might arrange for child care but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of herdiscipline to keep her from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.


I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine.That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room ratherthan the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children,issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room. However she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.


Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years -not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.


I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks..I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.



I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.


I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.


I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.


I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.


I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.


My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say.



Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings....

This blessed gift from God!

Being a Mother